Why is eating hard for people who are neurodiverse or have mental health issues?
We may not get hunger cues, we may not act on the hunger cues or the hunger cues could be at very odd times. And by the time we decide to eat, well, food isn’t ready. And I’m so hungry/malnourished to cook something my body needs, so instead we may grab something we know is safe; aka whatever is convenient and will always taste the same (usually prepackaged foods).
And as we develop longstanding habits of eating packaged foods, our taste buds actually narrow, and we become defensive against foods that are different or may not be consistent. So very few of us are meeting the national guidelines for healthy eating, 5 serves of vegetables and 2 serves of fruits, etc.
That’s probably overly simplistic but I think it helps us to start to understand that it’s not just about will power. And it’s not because we are picky.
How did I start cooking for myself?
Growing up in a migrant family who worked in a restaurant, I think I could have learned a few things shadowing in the kitchen, but that’s not when I learned how to cook. In fact, my younger sibling was probably much better at fried rice than me.
I started cooking for myself when I found my routine very different to my family. I found that the time I needed to eat, was much much earlier than anyone else in my household. So I had to find my way around the kitchen and prepare simple things to carry me through before others were ready to eat. It started with simple foods like toast, noodles, etc.
Instant noodles gets a bad wrap, yes it’s not the healthiest food on the market, but where I’m from people order instant noodle dishes from restaurants. But once you have a base (e.g. instant noodles or rice or potatoes), it’s really easy to get creative. Into the instant noodles, I put in a variety of different proteins (eggs, fish balls, pork balls, shabu shabu meats, frozen fillets of fish, frozen prawns, think– anything you can find in a hot pot restaurant), vegetables (e.g. asian greens, carrots, cos lettuce, baby spinach, baby corn, etc) and mushrooms, etc. And it requires very little preparation, because you can keep bags of each of the above in your fridge and just decide on the day what to put in– I guess this is the same appeal as malatang restaurants.
What did I do when I first moved out?
When I first moved out, my mum was worried that I wouldn’t know how to cook, so she would prepare takeout boxes filled with leftovers. I would pick these up and I would make rice with my kmart rice cooker. It was so easy, because all the proteins and vegetables were ready and all I had to really do was to make sure I had a bag of rice.
Gradually, I became more confident with trying new recipes like Japanese curries, and making things from scratch. Before the invent of social media, I would just try to make foods I bought for takeout at home. But now, with the invent of social media, I copy different recipes.
What has worked over time?
For me, I have anchored my routine into my 3 meals and snacks, I know what time to start preparing food, what time to finish eating foods and what time to put things into the dishwasher. On holidays, I do the same thing as work days, I schedule it all in. Without a good routine, it’s very hard to fit in all the foods into the nutritional guidelines.
I might not know exactly what I will be eating, but I know I will have the few staple basic meals- I know I will have some noodle meal, some rice meal, some pasta meal. So then I create the meals with different sauces, toppings and add ons as I feel like.
When I’m running low on a particular staple ingredient, I make sure I put it on the shopping list. Otherwise, I would go to the shops and buy random things that I won’t cook and my wormfarm will get fed more than me :P.
Take home messages
- Include eating in your routine
- Start with a basic meal
- Build up options around this basic meal
- Plan ahead with the grocery list
There are a few elearning packages I am developing to help with ADHD skills, disordered eating and more. Let me know if you are interested and I will put you on the waitlist to try these before they come out!
Until next time tribe,
Karen out.
Thanks to Mart Production for the image of instant noodles.